Kaleidescope Eye Rebellion

What color would you say my eyes are?

My driver’s license says “brown,” but it’s a lie. My mother taught me my eyes were “hazel,” but over the years I’ve learned that “hazel” just means “a hard color to describe in one word” and actually carries no consistency across faces. One of my close friends in high school gave up on trying to answer this question and just started calling me “the girl with kaleidescope eyes.” But let’s not cop out here. I’ll give you a hint: my eyes are green and amber with red flecks and brown highlights.

I make an effort to look people in the eye when I talk to them, and I’ve been noticing lately, that I’m not so alone in my kaledescopiness. I’m seeing my own eyes show up on more and more people, and more often than not on creative professionals — those rebellious independent folk who create their own careers and answer first to themselves. So I’m now asserting a theory: green/amber/red/brown kaleidescope eyes are a sign of a creative, ambitious individual who probably has issues with authority.

This theory will likely be proven absurd and fall by the wayside, as my silly theories often die. (For years, I’ve been trying to prove that everybody named Amy is a lesbian and that no one actually lives in Montana.) But, regardless, I am collecting evidence now. If you have some, please send it my way.

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7 Responses to “Kaleidescope Eye Rebellion”

  1. Christine Kane Says:

    My eyes are hazel too! (I like your theory.)

    It was great to meet you at BlogHer!

  2. sarah Says:

    Christine — that so doesn’t surprise me!

    (adds a hashmark to the Proof Tally Page)

    I wish I could say it was great to meet you, but more accurately, it was great to experience your presence and hear your music. “Meeting” you would have required me getting over my fear-of-famous-people complex and saying hello. :)

  3. Christine Kane Says:

    oops. i thought i met you. don’t i have your card?? speed dating perhaps?

    anyway, i’m SO not a famous person. for instance, i’ve never ONCE been on a date with brad pitt! (though i did see barry manilow when i was at epcott center. does that count?)

  4. Debra Roby Says:

    Just checked. Mine are “hazel” also. But a mix of grey/green in the main with amber/brown mariner’s points. Ofcourse that means daily they change depending on my clothes.. sometimes more grey, sometimes more green/brown.

    Darn! You met Christine?? I swear I never saw her except on stage. And she apparently channeled my future when she wrote her album!

  5. sarah Says:

    Christine — my apologies! You’re probably right, and I just didn’t make the connection. At any rate, it’s a pleasure to be acquainted with you, and you officially have a new fan.

    Because, clearly, if you’ve seen Barry Manilow at Epcott Center, you are at the peak of fame.

    Much love.

    (And Debra — I kept hearing people comment on your brazen attitude this year. You’re a wild woman, clearly deserving of kaleidescope eyes!)

  6. hillary Says:

    Hilarious theory about people named Amy! We have a similar theory about people named Andrew, and choose to go by Andrew rather than Drew. Usually, Andrew is gay.

    Great to meet you at BarCampBlock. Hope you enjoyed Saturday’s sessions — and sorry we couldn’t coordinate after my flat tire on Sunday!

  7. ThePaul Says:

    You can count me as evidence for your theory — especially that “trouble with authority” part :-)