(I don’t take credit for writing this post, but I hope you will read it anyway.)A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all.Instead of that bullshit, how about:if a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.if a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.if a women is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her.if a woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her.if a woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her.if a woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her.if a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don’t rape her.if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don’t rape her.if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her.if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her.if your step-daughter is watching tv, don’t rape her.if you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her.if your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not, and that he’s not your friend.if your “friend” tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.ifyour frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there’s anunconscious woman upstairs and it’s your turn, don’t rape her, call thepolice and tell the guy he’s a rapist.tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it’s not okay to rape someone.don’t tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x.don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault.don’t let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he “got some” with the drunk girl.don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.If you agree, repost it. It’s that important.********************************************************

Where do we draw the line with free speech?

‘Prussian Blue, a “white power” band now recording its second album, is described as a sinister version of the Olsen Twins, the squeaky clean child actresses of the 1990s. It is attracting more and more fans among young white nationalists.’

The girls are 13 years old. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and oh-so-sweet-looking in their photo. And they’re message is about how great it is to be white. Their father has a swastika on his belt buckle, and they’re mother taught them racist beliefs with textbooks written in the 50’s.But I love this:

In a recent interview with the magazine Viceland, they were asked what was the “most important social issue facing the white race right now”. They replied: “Not having enough white babies born to replace ourselves and generally not having good quality white people being born.”

Yeah, girls. You’re right. There aren’t enough good quality white people being born these days. Instead, we’re a hateful and destructive race of very, very poor quality. Thanks for the reminder.Read the article.

Photo_112405_010Last night I wandered the streets of downtown San Francisco for a few hours to check out the holiday scene. It seemed that every establishment fit one of three scenarios:

  1. It was closed.
  2. It was whole-heartedly embracing Thanksgiving with a full turkey dinner for clientele.
  3. It was open, but pretending the holiday didn’t exist.

And it seemed all people on the street and in windows fit one of three types:

  1. They were asleep.
  2. They were whole-heartedly embracing the holiday with a glass of wine in hand and large group of family members nearby.
  3. They were pretending the holiday didn’t exist.

When it started to rain, I thought of my New England family, and how they had just eaten turkey while watching the first snowfall of the year.

It’s hard to hit on really-clever and make-people-look-twice these days when we’re supersaturated in professional marketing messages all day long. So when you do, you need to pass it around. Check out this blog: http://www.ssahn.com/Scroll around, click through archived months, and look at the many, many people making the same face at you. It’s kind of creepy, and most definitely powerful. How did I find it?The artist behind the site took my friend Annie‘s pic on Halloween, and put it on the site here. Annie’s in Korea right now teaching English and turning heads as a celebrity American journalist (I think every American is a celebrity in Asia). Sounds like she’s having fun…We studied Chinese together three years ago. As far as I know, that’s the only language she’s learned, so I’m not sure what she’s doing in Korea… but I think I may need to go visit her soon. Edit: Did I mention Seth Godin is cool? I sent this along to him, and he blogged it too.

Yeah, I know. I’ve gone from posting once a day to posting once a week. That’s quite a shift. I think this whole ‘life transition’ thing is impacting my ability to be a public voice. To some extent, I’m in the process right now of trying to figure out what I want my voice to be. Something sparked my sense of direction in life today, though. A new friend came to me with a great idea for a website, which would make use of her skills in a fulfilling way and contribute to a larger group of people. She’d been mulling over the idea for the past two months, and hadn’t acted on it. As soon as she mentioned it to me, though, I jumped on it, and started spouting ideas and advice for how to get it off the ground. Granted, I don’t have time right now to pour much of my own sweat equity into her dream, but it’s invigorating to be able to help in the ways that I can. This is the fourth time someone has come to me for help with a great new creative idea in the past few months. People trust me to be supportive, and they know I can find the resources they need to push forward. I love it! I am a project person. I am an optimistic idealist who believes anything can happen, and has proven that numerous times. I love the beginnings of projects–when they have endless potential and crave nurture and dreams. I love the sense of accomplishment that comes from building something that can thrive without me. And more than anything, I love helping people achieve dreams that the “real world” tends to crush. I’m a creator, I’m a consultant, I’m an advisor, and I’m a teacher. Can I make a steady career out of this? I sure hope so…

About 6 years ago, I discovered The Missing Peace, which is sung by Judy Malloy and written by Ron Melrose. It’s a 2-CD, one-woman musical with many voices, all of which belong to Judy.

This album pulled me through some stressful times when I originally discovered it, but then I put it aside for several years. Since I’ve been going through more difficult transitions lately, though, I pulled it out again today and gave it a listen. Rediscovering this CD is like remembering what the world looks like from the top of a mountain — it’s breathtaking and indescribable. The most I can do is tell you how to get there.

A poet I once knew always said you must ask two questions about any work of art or literature: “What is it about? And what is it about?”

The story is a folk tale set on an unnamed Celtic island, and it narrates heroic journey of a young, timid woman setting out to find her mother. On many levels, this story is about the feminine face of God. It’s also about discovery, growth, facing fears, and moving forward in life. It’s truly a spiritual album without choosing a religious path. And it’s about the strength of a woman in a man’s world, so that makes it even better.

The holidays are coming up, so I recommend you add this to either your wishlist or your shopping list. Any woman (or man, really) going through substantial life changes who needs a serious push toward inspiration and comfort will genuinely benefit from this album.

Check it out: Judy Malloy – The Missing Peace

Don’t tell Sprint, but when I bought my Treo, the sales clerk was very cool. He made a point to inform me that it costs extra to download ringtones and games from the Sprint site, and then wrote the URL to mbuzzy.com on my receipt. I had never heard of it. Have you?Personally, I’m satisfied with the rings that came with the phone, and I deliberately steer clear of the games (I’d never get any work done. Really.), so the site’s not very useful to me. But I did finally check it out, and it does live up to his word. It’s a freeware/shareware site for cellphone users in a land where cellphone companies try to charge for every bell and whistle. They require that you sign up for an account before downloading, but most everything there is free. Of course, you need to have a way to get these items onto your cellphone, and if you don’t have a USB cable or internet access included in your system, freedom only goes so far. But really, it’s the thought that counts.Enjoy!p.s. (I recommend the “Sexy You Have Mail” ringer. Just to impress your friends.)

When I’m a fool, I feel the need to make a public announcement about it. Let the whole world know where I screwed up, so the rest of its inhabitants won’t make the same mistake. Here’s my confession: I doubted technology. And I was wrong to do so.My graphic designer approached me this week and asked me to build the navigational structure for a complex website. “Oh,” he added, “and the client wants Javascript breadcrumbs, so you should work that in.” What? Javascript breadcrumbs!? You can’t use Javascript to make breadcrumbs! You need to use a content management system, so a database knows where all your pages are in relation to each other and can regurgitate the info as needed. The only other solution is to hard-code the breadcrumbs! How can Javascript know what the hierarchy of your site looks like?! It can’t be done!I ate my words an hour later. Stuck my foot in my mouth while I was at it, too. Just for good measure. So let’s back up and make sure we’re all on the same page.What are breadcrumbs?What are breadcrumbs? Breadcrumbs are the “You Are Here” links you sometimes see at the top of a webpage. They might look something like this:

Home > About Us > Our Staff

In this example, you’re probably looking at the “Our Staff” page. It doesn’t matter how you got there; these links will appear the same. The site wants to let you know that “Our Team” is under the category “About Us,” which is all under the big picture of “Home,” and you can click those links if you want to get to those pages. This is an important distinction because “breadcrumbs” is actually a misnomer. It’s not about leaving a trail so you can go back the way you came (although that’s often how it works out). It’s actually about being able to easily navigate to broader categories for the webpage you’re currently visiting. But enough theorizing. Let’s talk about how this works.How Do Breadcrumbs Work with Javascript?This is where I was completely caught off guard. In order for Javascript code to be able to display breadcrumbs, it needs to be able to see the structure of your website as it relates to that page. What’s the easiest way to show the structure of your site on each webpage? Use the URL! (Duh! I really should have seen that one coming!)So, back to our example. If we want our breadcrumbs to look like this:

Home > About Us > Our Staff

We need our URL to look like this:


The key is that the website needs to be organized in very specific folders that describe the categories. We define everything up to “.com” as “Home,” and then everything after that is named by folder and filename (or page title, as it turns out with this script). We tell the code to translate underscores as spaces, capitalize the first letter of each word, and take care of any other standard replacements we can see coming. The code takes care of the rest! Incidentally, if you want to see the “About Us” page, the URL could be this:


or this:


If “About Us” is a category for more things, it will make more sense to use to first one. Otherwise, the second will do. But these are just tips. Let’s get to the code.Javascript Breadcrumbs – The CodeI dug through the web and tried about 10 different versions of Javascript breadcrumbs code. This was the first code that actually worked well without glitches, and allowed for some good customization. I found it on a listserv discussion at the Louisiana Tech University website. I have no idea where this originated, except that Harry Love of the University of Washington is credited in the file.The code I’m using is rather long, so I’ll just post a link.

Wow, that late-night Castro adventure wiped me out for most of the week. I meant to get these up sooner. Here’s my set of Halloween pictures, available on flickr:http://www.flickr.com/photos/92992685@N00/sets/1284222/See if you can find me!

As we speak...

I’m sitting at a Muni stop waiting to come home from the big crazy sf halloween party in the Castro. My feet hurt from walking in china flats, so i’m sitting on the dirty brick ground among a crowd of people… typing away on my Treo. Many more pictures to come… but let’s just say this city knows how to get 200,000 people together on two city blocks and have a good time…